Three Drinks In

I had a revelation over this past weekend, my sobriety is hurting my way of life. Based on this revelation, I've resolved to live my life three drinks in at all times. Let me explain.

Normal Zhi:
- Shy
- Does not talk to strangers
- Does not do anything out of his normal routine
- Never says anything when the situation calls for just the right words, and always says the wrong thing when the situation calls for just shutting up
- Is horribly awkward

Drunk Zhi:
- Out-going
- Talks to just about anyone and everyone
- Does things normal people would never do
- Always has just the right thing to say at the right time
- Plays fast and loose, and is the funniest, smartest guy in the room

Now obviously, the effects of drunk Zhi are either exaggerated, or unsustainable (I have but one liver and I like it). Also, I like money, so keeping my job is fairly important, and even though I'm a better coder when drunk, work is a problem. So I've settled on a compromise. I won't go all the way drunk, just three drinks in, and I'll only do this when I'm not at work (three because it's a good 1/3 mark between sober and sloppy).

So my plan is to go home everyday after work and down three of anything to get me loosened up and then pace myself at one drink an hour to keep it going. On the weekends, three with a healthy breakfast when I get up and same pace after.

Brilliant, no?

I am sure this will in no way lead to a catastrophic fall from grace or a lifetime of health issues. I have this faith because all of my plans made while sober have been less than dazzling, thus all my plans to be drunk all the time must be pure gold right?